O2 I be done with you?
a straight forward data plan is all I desire
When quizzing O2 my incumbent supplier
As my contract ended and you called in excess
To convince me I didn't want an iPhone 5s
Hung up they did having interrupted my flow
Upsell or cross sell a distant after glow
the valiant and misguided said
'That's not till next year –
I have a Samsung S4 which is
way pucker gear!'
An obsession with apple
For this or for that
Is redundant, with the power of
A Kit and a Kat
That's oranges I cried and at best an untruth
I know you trying to maximise my ARPU
Yet your clear desperation to convince me to stay
Assumes my IQ has nose dived the wrong way
so with requirements clear
And tariffs far fromnear
Your endless interruptions
An ill conceived faff
Has swayed me to engage
With a healthy Giff Gaff
The irony of course that you all share the same pipe
Illustrates the contempt for those who worship
The byte.
So, Goodbye O2 you good natured dope
And hello O2 you MVNO
Up in the Atmosphere 