O2 I be done with you?

a straight forward data plan is all I desire

When quizzing O2 my incumbent supplier

As my contract ended and you called in excess

To convince me I didn't want an iPhone 5s

 

Hung up they did having interrupted my flow

Upsell or cross sell a distant after glow

 

the valiant and misguided said

'That's not till next year –

I have a Samsung S4 which is

way pucker gear!'

An obsession with apple
For this or for that
Is redundant, with the power of
A Kit and a Kat

That's oranges I cried and at best an untruth

I know you trying to maximise my ARPU

 

Yet your clear desperation to convince me to stay

Assumes my IQ has nose dived the wrong way

 

so with requirements clear

And tariffs far fromnear

Your endless interruptions

An ill conceived faff

Has swayed me to engage

With a healthy Giff Gaff

The irony of course that you all share the same pipe

Illustrates the contempt for those who worship

The byte.

So, Goodbye O2 you good natured dope
And hello O2 you MVNO

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